Jusqu'a La Fin
by Katniss17
Summary: Don't let the french title fool you, it's an English story. Written last year sometime, this is my favourite piece of writing at the moment. Reddie fic all the way of course! I own nothing, Rated for themes.
1. Chapter 1

Jusqu'à La Fin

The skies darkened as she sat alone in the park, her gentle flow of tears were joined by a faster flow of raindrops, each heavier than the first. She gazed up at the thick blanket hiding the sun, her wet hair sticking to her pale, tear-stained face. She never cried, not if people could see, but she was alone. Her life had come crashing down around her and she was scared, not scared of having to stay in the park, not scared of where she might end up. She was scared she would be alone after losing the most important things in her life, her school, and Eddie. The one who always managed to cheer her up and was always there to support her and care for her when she needed it. But not now. She flinched slightly as the thunder roared menacingly above her and the lightning flashed blindingly around her. She wrapped her arms around her legs as the rain worsened, the ice-like particles bouncing on the ground through the force, making her skin sting like a thousand tiny burns. She closed her eyes tightly as the water ran down her face and into her eyes, running her make-up as she wiped the extra rainwater off. She shivered again, the wind blowing into her face and making it hard for her to open her aching eyes as she pulled her jacket around her tightly.

She stayed there for a large majority of the evening, her words swirling round in her head like a hurricane. _'I can't lie to the people who've trusted me. They deserve better than that. What that man just said was true, I was a prostitute. It was a long time ago. It was the worst time of my life. I feel very ashamed about it. And I've kept it a secret for all this time. If I thought for one second that my past would in any way damage this school then I would leave. But that's not for me to decide.' _In many ways she regretted saying it, but then she thought about the dishonesty she would have thrust upon her pupils, and she knew that she would not have let that happen, she wouldn't have lied to them. Even if the truth resulted in her losing everything. She tilted her head towards the sky again and sighed heavily with grief. Even though the freakish storm clouds began to part and merciless rain faded away into a light patter, the harsh winds stalked the streets around where she sat. There was a beam of light shining through, like a strip of hope to guide her through her darkest hours, but there was an opposing force, holding her back, stopping her from reaching the one thing she desired even though she could see it. The light shone brighter, teasing her, mocking her before disappearing back behind the grey seclusion in which Rachel had been locked. There was no way out.

Her eyes were distant and watery, aching from lack of sleep. But she couldn't sleep, she couldn't move, she couldn't do anything. Her entire body had gone numb, her tears burning her frozen cheeks as she continued to weep silently. The sun was attempting to emerge from the clouds again but failing miserably, as she heaved herself to her feet slowly, wobbling, and started the trek home. She was drenched through to her skin, her clammy clothes sticking to her and screwing up, but she paid no attention. She dragged her feet through the puddles, water being displaced from the momentous calm just seconds before. The splashes and ripples representing her own creased life. The mountain waves she would have to overcome, the change of the tide as she continued through her life, just taking one day as it comes now, no way out until the very end of the horizon, a horizon that never appears to be getting any closer, or any easier to reach. The leaves shook at her approach, woken from a deep slumber by the sound of tapping heels on the drying concrete. The trees shared whispers as she walked past them, as if the whole world now knew her secret.

The garden held its breath on her approach, throwing her into silence. She glanced around as even the flowers had stopped waving to the gentle humming in the wind, making her feel more alone than before. She fumbled with the lock and let herself in, closing the door loudly behind her. She was greeted by more silence, the only sound was her own beating heart and shallow breaths, creating a small white cloud of smoke as her warm breath met the cold air surrounding her. A shiver was sent down her spine and she wandered, absent minded, into the kitchen, her shoes tapping on the laminate flooring. She turned the heating on and threw her coat over the back of one of the chairs, displacing a newsletter from on the table. It was from the first term she was at Waterloo Road, congratulating her on getting the job as their new head teacher and welcoming her to the school. She felt another batch of tears well up in her eyes as she ran her fingers over the picture, her fond times at the school severely shattered into a thousand tiny pieces due to one man. One man that had caused her life to change so drastically. Just one man who had caused so much damage to her, and her school.


	2. Chapter 2

An abrupt knock on the door stole her away from her train of thought. She looked up startled, as only two people ever really knocked on her door at this time. That was the post man, and... She couldn't even say his name through fear of breaking down into another pool of unappreciated tears. She disregarded the letter and cautiously stepped towards the door, her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach with every step she took. Her eyes flashed with different emotions; worry, fear, loneliness. Just as she approached the door, her hand almost touching the handle she heard a familiar voice. The voice she'd wanted to hear so badly but expected it never to come. And now it was here, she wished it wasn't.

"Rachel? Are you in? Rach?"

The use of her shortened name caused a few of the tears to stray down her cheek and dampen her drying top. Her hand shook, half of her eager to open the door and see him again even if this could be the last time, and the other half wanted to cower away and hide, pretending nothing ever happened. But she knew the latter wasn't an option and opened the door, screwing up her face as the light hit her already sleep-deprived eyes.

"Come in..."

Her words were barely more of a whisper as she slid her arm out of the way to allow his entrance before closing the door again quickly, throwing the hallway into a stubborn darkness, trapping her back into the cocoon. Eddie reached out to turn on a light-switch but hesitated, dropping his arm back to his side in an uncomfortable manner, as if he shouldn't be there. Rachel resisted looking into his eyes. She didn't want to see the cold, empty space that was once full of warmth for her. She shied away from his physical contact and stared down at the floor, afraid to show any emotions in case they were not reciprocated. He cleared his throat and the silence broke like a fragile vase. Rachel's head lifted slowly to look at him, the usual burning fire in her eyes of happiness and devotion extinguished, leaving nothing but cold, black coals of her once twinkling eyes.

"I worried when you didn't come back after assembly and you weren't in your office..."

Typical Eddie. After everything she'd done he still worried about her. But she couldn't hurt him anymore, it wasn't fair on him to have to pick up the pieces of her shattered life and glue them back together one by one, day by day. She sighed gently and looked back down, closing her eyes tightly so preserve her dignity, to stop him seeing her cry.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't stay there now. How can I expect them to respect me after this? I kept something from them for months, hoping that they wouldn't find out. It was stupid."

He went to take her hand but she shied away again, as if it was going to inflict pain upon her. As though his very touch would break the delicacy in which she stood, break the weakness she was trying to hide, as if the fragments of her already broken life were going to smash into tiny glass splinters.

"You think they don't respect you? Think of the pupils Rach, Bolton for one, you were the only one who could get through to him. He wouldn't want you to leave."

Rachel blinked away her tears as they fell silently down her cheeks and hit the floor, leaving a small stain on the cream carpet.

"I can't. The parents won't want some prostitute teaching they're kids."

"Rachel, you've been nothing but good for that school. They don't think of you like that, you're their headmistress. You're the one who kept this school open all this time. I know we didn't see eye to eye when you first arrived but now... I was just jealous; I thought I should have had your job. But no one's better at it than you."

She flinched slightly at his words, rigid to his usually sunny composure, emotionless. She didn't know how to feel, she couldn't understand why he was still trying to reattach her to her former glory, a glory that never truly belonged to her. A glory that was Rachel Mason's, not hers. She wanted to scream at him and tell him everything that was speeding through her mind, how she didn't belong at the school, how she was nowhere near the best, but not a sound passed her lips. She stayed firmly in her stance, head bowed towards the floor, completely paralysed except the gentle rising and falling of her chest in response to her breathing. Eddie reached out towards her slowly, keeping a slight distance, and whispered.

"The school needs you... I need you."

_I need you. _Three words. Three syllables. Three times her heart flipped over. Three seconds for her eyes to meet his. One more chance.


	3. Chapter 3

It was 8 'o'clock the next morning. Rachel got out of Eddie's car slowly and looked up at the school, for the first time feeling intimidating, daunting over her like a bad dream. A nightmare ready to unfold and erase all the positive things in her life. She shook her head and blinked repetitively, looking back up at the school building. A building, that's all it is, bricks and mortar. It's the people inside that counted, the bricks a skin for the lessons that took place inside, pulsing around the building like veins, veins being powered by the heart of the school, the staff and pupils. It was only bricks and mortar. Her heart sank as the LEA board conductors pulled into the car park. Eddie took her arm gently but she shook him off, walking into the school and up to her office, her mind distant, looking around it for the last time. Taking in every little detail that she always took for granted. The way there was always a coffee on her desk ready for her when she walked in, how her paperwork was organised into neat little piles for her to sort through, no unnecessary rummaging through stacks of abandoned sheets and an array of different forms. She'd miss that.

The knock she'd been anticipating came to her door around 8:30. The moment of truth had arrived, and she was unprepared. Unprepared for what the future may hold, whether she stays or goes. She didn't have the answers and in a way, she didn't want them. She knew she couldn't leave it all behind but didn't know if she could keep her tight grasp around it for much longer. Everything was slipping from beneath her fingers and she couldn't pull it back.

"Miss Mason, I believe there is an issue involving yourself and your, shall we say, previous career. There are a number of parents who have contacted us regarding this matter, and we all see it fit for you to have your contract with Waterloo Road Comprehensive terminated with immediate effect."

She stood with bated breath, not daring to allow oxygen through to her lungs with fear they may collapse in on her, the way her life had. She felt the salty tears brush the back of her eyes, using all the energy she could muster to stop them reaching the surface. Her legs shook as she rose from her chair, subconsciously as if she had no self-control. Her face had become paler than a ghost as she nodded silently and left the room, slowly floating up the stairs and back to her office, an eerie silence swallowing the sound of her gentle tapping heels. She sat down at her desk and sobbed, every thought, feeling and emotion she'd been holding in flowing out in a stream of tears. She couldn't fight any more.

Eddie rose from his seat and looked sternly at the LEA board who sat in front of him. He took in a deep, thoughtful breath and looked at each individual face. None of them showed any pity, remorse, sympathy. Just 10 dead, cold faces to match their frozen, bitter hearts.

"Not a single one of you are here day in day out. You don't understand the running of this school, the respect Miss Mason has gained in the last year alone. She's turned this school around; the pupils have more respect for her than any other member of staff. She took this school from nothing and turned it into somewhere the pupils want to come and learn. Her past has absolutely no relevance to her performance as a head teacher. In fact no, I think her past has everything to do with this school, from her own mistakes she's taught others to make something of themselves. The only thing her past has done to this school is improved it. Improved the teaching, improved the results, and improved the pupils. She's achieved here, and if you're so sick and twisted to make her leave over something that happened 20 years ago, then you should be ashamed."

He didn't give them long enough to respond before tearing the door open and leaving, the board looking at each other in unison.

The forms on Rachel's desk wrinkled under the heavy, wet tears that hit the page and seeped slowly through the pile. She couldn't bear crying at work, it wasn't private, and someone might see her. But that didn't matter now, nothing mattered. Her school had been taken from her, her role as head teacher stripped from her in a shameful attempt to spare the school. But the truth was already out, and soon the press would have their claws in, digging deeper and deeper until there was nothing left of her. She couldn't put the school through that. She gathered all the energy she could muster and began to pack her things, her hands shaking more than a leaf caught in a powerful wind.

The commotion from the board meeting had aroused attention. Bolton, who had been waiting outside Grantly's classroom, had heard the majority of it, particularly the fact that she'd just been removed as head teacher. His eyes flashed with fury as he flung the classroom door open, much to the annoyance of Mr Budgen.

"They've told Miss Mason to leave!"

Chaos unravelled around them, angry voices rising to the point of shouts. Something had to be done.


	4. Chapter 4

Chaos unravelled around them, angry voices rising to the point of shouts. Something had to be done.

Silence has begun to settle back into the room, as only the sounds of rustling paper and muffled sobs could be identified in Rachel's office. She slid open the desk drawer noiselessly and began sorting through its contents. Old forms, paperwork and school-related information were left in a neat pile on her desk, while all her personal belongings were organized into her bag. Letters from parents and students, artwork, word documents all thrown into a bag until she came across an unusual folder. One that didn't belong to her. She opened it slowly, feeling as if she was prying into something she shouldn't really see. A number of photos fell out as she held the file up. Her eyes snapped away from the folder to the photos, looking closely at each one. There were a few photos of Eddie, hardly recognisable as he was a lot younger. There were also a number of handwritten pieces of prose, and at closer inspection Rachel could see they were diary entries, dating back to when she first started.

_22nd November 2007_

_Typical, they always think they know best. Shove a head in here who's only been qualified 5 minutes and expect them to run the school, instead of promoting someone who's been here for a year, who knows the running of the school and the pupils. Who knows the school inside out, the secrets and lies, every little detail that makes their school unique. But no, they know best and give us a headmistress. As if Bolton or his lot are ever going to listen to her, and who's the lucky sod who will get to pick up the pieces at the end of it._

_Eddie_

_29th November 2007_

_I may have been wrong about her. She seems to have big ideas about the school, even if she is still up herself. Didn't like the idea of the camping trip for the troublesome kids but who did? I knew I was a lot happier without the neck-brace. I've never really noticed before how her face lights up when she chuckles, and how cute her giggle is. She didn't stick her nose up at me either and say 'I was right', which is always a positive thing. In fact she was quite reassuring and kind, saying I was expecting too much of them. I know she was right._

_Eddie_

The entries stopped for a while, before coming more descriptive.

_13th December 2007_

_She smiled at me today. I don't know why but her eyes seem to twinkle when she looks at me, and my heart begins to race whenever our eyes meet, and when she walks into the room my stomach does cartwheels. I've never felt this way before; she's turning me back into a teenager. She left her hair down today; it bounced gently over her shoulders and flicked out slightly as she ran her fingers through her hair. That looked really nice, the way her face was framed so perfectly. Every detail of her face outlined to show its own importance, highlighting her cheek bones that glowed when she smiled._

_Eddie_

The entries continued in the same style, saying similar things until there was one last sheet, the least detailed but most important by far.

_24th January 2008_

_I'm in love with Rachel Mason._

_Eddie_


	5. Chapter 5

_Well Howdy there strangers! Been a long time since I posted this isn't it? Sorry for making you wait so patiently for so long, it's here now! I've got everything written, so it's just the actual posting that needs doing - I will be more frequent with this and my other work I promise! Hehe, so just check my channel if there's anything else you fancy reading, there's a range of shows on there to tickle your taste buds (and yes, that was some sneaky guilt-free promoting right there!)._

_I'm going to stop rambling now, so enjoy! XD_

_..._

He stared; dumbfound, at the paper, her hands shaking slightly as the words became unreadable on the sheet. _I'm in love with Rachel Mason. _She couldn't believe it, in fact, she wouldn't believe it. He said he was in love with Rachel Mason, that wasn't her, it never had been. She would always be just Amanda Fenshaw. Eddie didn't love her, he couldn't. He loved Rachel, and that wasn't her. She dropped the sheets in shock as her door was thrown open, revealing a rather worried looking Eddie.

"They can't do this... It isn't fair; I know the kids don't want you to go... The parents know what an improvement you've made..."

She raised a hand to silence him.

"Eddie they've made their point, they don't want some call girl teaching their children. I'm leaving, there's nothing more we...I can do."

He entered the room properly and closed the door, the glass windowpane quivering as though it too was anxious and scared at the prospect of her departure.

"There is something we can do, we'll make a petition, go on strike or something... We need to fight this..."

"Eddie please, please just listen to me for one second. I know you're as stubborn as a mule but I can't fight this anymore... It's too hard."

He walked around the side of the desk and took her hand gently in his, but she instantly pulled away and kept her distance from him, as if there was an imaginary wall they'd never taken into account before. She repeated her last few words again.

"I can't fight this anymore..."

He flicked his head up, staring deeply into her eyes. Searching for even a glimpse of her lost determination or usual ability to solve any problem instantaneously. But all he could find was her hidden vulnerability, the fearless confidence she'd relied on for so long suddenly evaporated, and she was afraid. He held out his hand, trying to reach out to her, both metaphorically and physically, in an attempt to reassure her and show her he was still there for her. She glanced up slightly, wishing she could take his hand and everything return to normal, but it didn't work like that. She avoided eye-contact with him and looked away again, towards her open bag flung over the chair. Her gaze shifted to the dropped papers, Eddie taking them into account for the first time. He walked around her slowly and picked them up, flicking through the different sheets.

"Did you see these...?"

Rachel nodded slowly.

"Oh... Right... I didn't know where else to put them..."

He walked back round the desk and leant against the table, shuffling them nervously.

"I meant it... Every word..."

Rachel shook her head to stop him, her head still bowed as she tried to hide her tears. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him and wanted to be with him, but she'd been lying to him. It wasn't fair on him, after all he's done, to just be pushed away and lied to. She spoke, her voice breaking with her gentle, whispered breath.

"You don't... You couldn't. I lied to you, I'm not who you think I am... I'm not Rachel Mason."

Eddie stood up straight again and knelt gently in front of her, handing her a fresh tissue. He took a deep breath and brushed her hair out her eyes so she could see him, not feeling hurt when she cowers away again, and places his hand gently next to hers, keeping in close proximities without actually touching her and upsetting her again.

"You are, Rachel... Amanda, whatever. You're the women I fell in love with a year ago, the only one I've looked at since. You're smile, your chuckle... everything. It was all you. You are Rachel, what you did before doesn't make a difference to how I feel now. You're an amazing woman, and you've stolen my heart."

She looked into his eyes slowly, the love and compassion he'd always had still there, burning stronger than a forest fire. She smiled weakly, her sunken, cold complexion now as radiant as it once was. Eddie slid his hands slowly over hers, the feel of it warming her numbness, a numbness that was now fading, allowing her to feel everything again. But the pain was fading too, the pain of losing him and her school, the pain of the lies that had eaten into her for so long, the pain that she had tortured herself with. She reached out for him gently and he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her in a soft, protective blanket.

"I still have to leave..."

"You don't, we'll fight it. Make them change their minds. Me and you, together."

"It's not fair for me to drag you into this..."

Eddie chuckled and kissed her head lightly.

"I'm already part of this, you're our head teacher. We need you here. They can't force you to leave over this, you've not hurt anyone. We won't let you go."

She stayed in his embrace, a few stray tears finding their way to his shirt before settling. Bridget popped her head through the door before deciding against disturbing them and going back out of the office. Rachel looked up at him slowly, his soft, paw-like hands stroking her cheek gently to wipe away her tears and resting on the base of her neck. She smiled wearily and cupped his face in her hands, concentrating solely on her thoughts, trying to de tangle herself from the emotions she'd been trapped by for weeks, but yet again she was disrupted by a voice outside, and then another before there were numerous voices saying the same thing.

_'Waterloo Road says no, Miss Mason can't go! Waterloo Road says no, Miss Mason can't go!'_

She unfolded herself from Eddie's arms and stepped towards the window, looking out to see the entire school, teachers and pupils, all chanting the same thing.

_'Waterloo Road says no, Miss Mason can't go! Waterloo Road says no, Miss Mason can't go!'_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello again my little readers! Well, well look what we have here - Another update! Aren't you people lucky getting two in one weekend? ;) How are we all? Good? Good! Well, you'll be sad to hear that his is the penultimate chapter *boohoo!* But I do have some more Reddie stuff headed you way if you fancy it? Do you fancy it, do you, huh huh, do yaa? Well, just drop me a message or a review and let me know!_

_..._

_O_utside the front entrance to the school was a swarm of pupils and teachers, their noise louder than a football stadium at the end of a match. Banners and signs were being waved in the air, creating a sea of writing, drowning out the pleas to leave from the LEA. Rachel raced down the stairs and out of the doors, being greeted by a thunderous round of applause and a level of cheers with enough decibels to break an ear-drum. The chanting continued as she tucked her hair behind her ear and blushed slightly, unable to contain the smile that had leaped upon her face.

"Well... I didn't expect this today. I know it's a shock for you all but the parents and the LEA governors have had to make a decision, and there's nothing we can do..."

Her smile dropped slightly, she hated goodbyes, especially this one. Bolton crashed through the crowd waving a piece of paper.

"They didn't want you to leave Miss! Our parents said they wanted to stay!"

He was still breathless as he ran towards the steps, thrusting the piece of paper at her then walking backwards back down the steps, slowly, menacingly, his eyes fixed on the governors who were shifting uncomfortably. Rachel unfolded the piece of paper and examined it, before passing it to Eddie. He read it, spending a length of time on each name, each signature. The entire playground fell silent as the attention of every being there was drawn to Eddie. He continued reading in silence before lifting his head up, looking directly at the governors.

"This has a signature on from every parent from this school, each saying how they don't want Rach... Miss Mason to leave. The decision wasn't theirs; it was yours."

The governors looked nervously at each other before one stepped forward.

"Our apologies, it seems our judgement has been overruled by the staff, parents and pupils. We'll reinstate you as Headmistress for Waterloo Road."

She was hit with another wall of clapping and cheering, Eddie pulling her back into his arms gently, kissing her cheek as the cheers morphed into wolf whistles. She pulled away from him slightly and blushed, one of the governors beckoning her over. She released Eddie's hand slowly and walked over with him. He carried on going until they were away from the crowds before his tone became more sinister.

"You may have got away with it this time but you can't hide forever, we'll still get you out of this school and back where you belong Amanda, on the streets."

He stalked off, the rest of the governors' close behind, leaving her anxious and shaking slightly, fearing his spiteful words, but trying not to let it affect her, or everything she'd just regained. She walked back up towards the school, more cheers being preceded by hugs and shouts of congratulations. She carried on walking until she'd reached the steps, Eddie gliding down to meet her and taking her hand again. This time she let him, a warm tingling sensation flowing up her arm and to her heart once more. She was back.

They stayed outside for the majority of the morning, being shepherded off to break, then told explicitly lessons must presume as normal, but this was not heeded. Rachel crept back into school with Eddie, away from the tribe of pupils now despatching for break. She held onto his hand tight, enjoying their close proximities, after her months of hostile behaviour towards him. She was filled was adoration, though still numbed at the thought of them actually being together, her dreams had become a reality but she was yet to wake up and realise. He led her towards her office and sat down in the sofa, her hands still firmly in his. He smiled gently, taking in everything about her he'd never truly noticed before. The different colours in her eyes, and the way they sparkled when the sun hit them. How the smell of her shampoo blended perfectly with the floral perfume she wore. He ran his fingers through her soft hair, the different layers falling separately, back against her head, framing her face perfectly. She smiled gently and brought her hand to join his, her skin warm and gentle against his.

"Thank you..."

Eddie chuckled lightly and kissed her forehead, his once disregarded feelings now alive and accepted as she lifted her head slowly and gazed into his eyes.

"What do you need to thank me for?"

"For never giving up hope in me, even when I had..."

"You were having a bad time, that's all. I couldn't have let you go; I don't know what I would have done without you..."

Rachel smiled gently and looked from his eyes to his lips then back up. He looked back at her and leaned closer, pressing his lips softly against hers. She sat still for a moment, the shock of what had happened throughout the day finally hitting her, the events that had led up to this moment playing over and over again in her head. Eddie pulled away slightly and looked down, thinking he'd taken it too far, thinking it wasn't him she wanted. She lifted his chin again gently and kisses him back, running her fingers gently through his hair and resting her hand on the base of his neck. She could feel the warmth pulsing through her body as all the worries she had were finally lifted, and she knew the lies were over. Her life had built around her again, and this time she was not alone. She had Eddie, which was all she needed. She pulled away from him slowly and smiled.

"I've waited a long time to do that."

He chuckled again and wrapped his arms around her, not caring if anyone walked in and saw, just wanting to spend a few moments alone with the woman of his dreams.

"Me too... I love you, so much."

"Eddie? I love you too."


End file.
